I had a thought today at work. What stories will I tell my kids when they're growing up :). I think stories like that stay with you for a very long time. I remember the ones my parents used to tell. Until today, I'm not sure if some of them were made up or not. lol.

1) I'll tell my kids how mummy met daddy . I'll throw in a few exaggerated facts :)
2) I'll tell them about the stories their grandparents told me. How it was when Japan invaded Msia , how their great-great grandad had a metal company etc etc
3) I'll tell them about my experience in Uni , how a lost sheep found her way home.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. But I'm sure I'll be telling them a lot of random ones :)

I've come to terms that work is work and best left at that. I for some reason have the tendency to bring my work life into my personal one , which doesn't make it very healthy. Guess thats the reason why I've been feeling down for the past couple of months. Recently , I've learned to let go (wasn't easy) and it did take practice. I've learned that mistakes do happen at the work place (especially if your a health professional) , and I have to stop beating myself over it and move on. Now, I feel much better. I no longer "dread" to face the day or whats to come. I'm appreciating the moment and taking it into account as part of my learning curve.

Made a few minor changes to my life style - no more studying during the weekends and gym !

Also looking forward to be going back to Dunners sometime in June :) I miss the people honestly. Dunners was one of those places where you find friends for life.

Am so blessed (I know I've repeated myself over and over again ) for my supportive family (thanks to Viber) , my besties (they've made countless trips to Welly to check up on me *sniff) and the best-est bf I can ever have (for listening to me rant and cheering me up with walt disney movies) .

I'm learning to LIVE again.

sleeping more to pass the time.

hoping this ends soon.

feels like i've been sucked through this worm hole , repeating itself again and again.

Today at work , this goth kid came in with her mom for passport photos. She had jet black hair , with stripes of pink , lots of eye liner , and a pasty looking face.I think she looked quite pretty tho she wasn't very happy when I asked her to tuck her hair behind her ears for the photos lol. Oh well :) but seeing her struck a cord.

I started asking myself - what happened to that lil goth kid in me?

There was a time, I would only wear black , wear tons of eye liner , black nail polish, hair dyed blazing red , acting all rebellious and stuff. Got myself a belly button piercing and even considered an eye brow piercing once.

And now , looking at my wardrobe I find lots of red , purple, white ... and very less black.  I still wear eye liner (which will always be my favorite) , but for some reason I don't look as rebellious as I used to be. I rarely use black nail polish (unless Im out of other colours) , I usually opt for brighter colours now :) and I'm less socially awkward . Also , I notice myself wearing more dresses, more skirts, more heels , and more prints ?  I'm still into all that emo jazz , anime, etc , but not as often as before. Don't get me wrong , I still have my emo moments , and I treasure those moments. They make me feel a lil , make me appreciate life a lil more.

Then I realised .. I barely noticed it .. It happened all so sudden .

That lil goth kid in me had ... grown up.

Always a part of me.

Just tot I'll share something from  yang's blog :)I think I'm happiest when I'm with people I love. Missing secret club badly . I just can't wait for us to reunite again. Finger's crossed, our next trip will be in Bali. xx

I'm not really sure what the future will be like (no one knows anyways) , but one thing that I do know is that I want to spend  the rest of this life with you. I realise how cheesy this sounds , but its the truth. You make everything worth while. All the hurt and "suffering" that I've been through that couple of years lead me here.

I love you for waking up early with me and dropping me off at the train station each day for work , even if your classes only start in the afternoon . I love you for making me , my occasional lunches and making sure I eat well. I love you for every lil thing that you do.

I'm truly happy. And I'm still very much in love with you , it hasn't changed since the first time we met

Reality?

Was suppose to work at Urgent pharmacy today but apparently the dates got mixed up and I ended up going home. Felt a lil lonely and phoned mom while waiting for the bus.

As I reached my stop , I couldn't help realise but how nice it was to walk at night. The cool breeze etc. An elderly gentleman was stopping at the same stop as me. We started walking towards our street and chatted for a bit before we parted ways. The first thing he asked me was my name, then what was I doing walking home alone at this hour, where are my parents  and if I'm alright. I must look really lost for him to notice me like that. lol.

Honestly, this was the first proper conversation I've had with another person face to face that's non work related and sincere this week. It didn't just feel like small talk , it felt a lil bit more than that. At the end of the conversation, he gave me a big hug :)  I guess this gave me more faith in humanity. For some reason , work has made me realize how apparent a dog-eat-dog world this is. And when I question it, the answer is always the same " ITS REALITY! GET OVER IT!".

Yeah , I definitely need a break next year.