I know this is bad , but sometimes I imagine myself with somebody else eg: a random face on facebook, a cute guy walking down the street, hotties in magazines, hunky actors etc etc. And I start thinking of the "what ifs ?".

It's not that I'm not committed to this relationship or I'm not "in love". It's just I sometimes wonder of different destinies , different probabilities , or you could say different fates.

Like what if I ended up with him? Would I be as happy as I am now? or would it be worse ? Would my personality be different ? Would I be the clingy girl friend ? Would I be labelled as the crazy bitch?Will we be fighting more often ? Will my plans for the future be any different? Will it last ? ... The thought of holding some one else's hand, hugging somebody that close .

And then , I look at a picture of us on my phone, smiling in the sun having ice cream :) And I'm thinking, I can never let go of something this precious. I can never hurt you like that. Part of me what I am today is because of you. Your love has shown me that some people deserve the benefit of doubt, that some things are not what they seem, good things come when we're patient , to enjoy the journey and not skip to the ending, to love others unconditionally and the joy of giving.

When I think of these things , that imaginary guy fades and so does my what ifs. In the end, this is the reality that I choose and want to be. I love you. Truly.