25 years

Losing weight was always an issue for me. I was quite overweight but not clinically  obese when I was younger or maybe I was hmmm. Does a 70kg 12 year old count? Honestly, I think I was pretty happy with my weight until the teasing started. It was all well and dandy, until a respected teacher starts calling you fat , a relative starts making fun of your thighs, and boys teasing you about your flabs and not taking you seriously. I think , no one takes you seriously when your fat. That's when I noticed I was bigger than most girls, they were stick thin, and me .. a buffalo next to them.

When I was about 10 ,I used to go to bed with a belt tied tight around my waist , hoping for a miracle that the next day I'll be thin. I sometimes tie it so tight it was hard to breath. Or I'll go to school sucking my tummy in  and my head held high so no one could see my double chin. I would make so many excuses for not joining sports , it would be from food poisoning to period pains. I hated sports !No one can ever see those jiggly bits !

Then further down the road, I realized , if you were smart , people listen. They don't really see your weight as a issue anymore. Still an issue but not as BIG an issue , you know? Think that was when I became a huge nerd. Investing all my time into studying, never having a social life. Feeling in control when I could study for 10 hours straight , waking up at 6am the next morning and repeating the same process. One mark in an exam made a hell lot of a difference. That could determine my place in class, and in the whole school ! There was only one number that made me happy , being number 1. I was on the top of my game.  Why just be fat, when you can be fat and smart? haha.

Then came uni. When I had another realization. Being smart , doesn't guarantee you anything. Not even your dreams. Sometimes life just happens and you go with the flow.There has to be a balance. After a being in 2 f**cked up relationships, I've put on more weight. You know a relationship is never worth it when your bf's make fun of your thighs and almost to the verge of emotional abuse. I couldn't concentrate in Uni , study wise. Studying was all I knew, and I couldn't even do that properly !

I decided to end everything one day, by the clock tower into the Leigh River. As I was about to,  a thought came into my head (and everyone knows when your about to do it, you never think twice ! ) "Are you not curious about how your life would be in the next few years ?". Well, now that you've asked , I am curious. "What if you held on for the next few years?" hmmm.. I guess I can do that. At that point, I wondered what had happened to my life, till I had to pull the plug. Was it that bad?

And so I persevered. I studied the best I could. I made changes to my life. Made sure I stayed away from that toxic life style. Made sure my next relationship will be the best I ever had. I joined the uni gym, vented out my frustrations on that poor poor cross trainer.

The pounds were shed ,  goals were met, the degree was DONE , the relationship still going strong :)

**Tim is the best boyfriend I could ever wish for. He has always been so supportive, always very gentle with his words of encouragement, very caring .. and he cooks  a mean lasagna ! Always worried that I'm not eating right and having enough to eat ( I KNOW ! IF A GUY MAKES YOU EAT , HE'S A GEM) . The friends I've met along the way , irreplaceable. **